If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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