Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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