i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
