I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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