The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
