I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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