I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
