threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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