Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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