Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
