I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
