my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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