how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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