The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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