I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
