Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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