Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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