giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
