he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
