elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
