Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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