Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
