Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my shit smells like andre
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
