At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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