remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
