No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
