i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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