i think my mom watched the whole time
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
