im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
