I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Can Purell be used as lube?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
