Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
