what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
