he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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