Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
