I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
where am i from again
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
