I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
