i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
