it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
