Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
