Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
