i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
