For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
