U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We have started to decorate penises.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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