its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
