we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
