I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
