and you said cock pushups were impossible
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
