The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
