The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he thought i was a dude.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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