He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
