Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Panties = found
Randomize
