BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
