I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
